Wounds and Resurrection

“He showed them his hands and his feet…”

In the Gospel the Church has given us for today (Thursday in the Octave of Easter) we hear another resurrection appearance of Jesus to his Disciples. They become alarmed at the Risen Christ’s arrival, and suspect that it may be a ghost. Jesus shows them his hands and feet for them to see the wounds of his brutal crucifixion: proof that he is who he says he is.

I once read that Saint Anthony of Padua, who was frequently tortured by demons, once had a demon present himself that was disguised as Jesus himself! Anthony knew that it wasn’t him, because the individual did not bear the wounds of the passion. Those wounds are no longer signs of defeat, but rather they are signs of victory. As Isaiah said, “by his wounds we are healed.”

For Jesus, wounds and resurrection go together.

In Alcoholics Anonymous the individual in recovery is presented with 12 Promises at the end of every meeting. One of them reads: “we will neither regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it.” For everyone it seems, wounds and resurrection go together.

Every single one of us bears in our hearts the wounds of the past. We carry with us the impact of trauma, the damage of a broken heart, or the painful memory of some kind of loss. No one among us is without our wounds. Yet, none of those wounds have killed us have they?

Wounds and resurrection go together.

Jesus’ wounds of course are like no other. They are the means by which redemption was won for the world. However, I wonder if there isn’t some sort of message for us here. Jesus bears his wounds even on his glorified body: he carries them into eternity. They become a distinguishing mark by which we can identify him. They become something beautiful. The individual in recovery experiences a minor resurrection of their own. Rising from the death of despair and addiction they rise to a new life of wellness and balance. That new life is found not from abstinence, but from the work they do to bring healing to the pain that made the drink so deadly for them. They pursue healing, hope, and healthy relationships.

That’s recovery.

That’s resurrection.

That’s the call that is put out to every single one of us.

You see all of us, addict or not, carry with us the wounds of the past. We carry resentment and hurt. We learn from our mistakes, but sometimes what we learn is to not trust, to abandon hope, or to doubt love. Lessons such as these are only fodder for more wounds.

By acknowledging the hurts, trauma, and resentment of our lives we take the first vital step in resolving them. Arguably, acknowledging them is more than half the battle! When we can look in the mirror and see our wounds…when we can drop the walls we build to protect ourselves long enough to look the real self in the eye…only then can we truly look others in the eye. Only then can we truly access the peace that lies dormant within us.

That’s part of the story of the resurrection for all of us isn’t it?

As Catholics we believe that one day we will close our eyes in the sleep of death, and open them again at the throne of grace. The Lord of all life will reveal to us all those things that until then had been hidden: all the “whys” will be answered and all the “why nots” will be made clear. We will see the total and complete truth of our own lives. We will have no choice but to face all those wounds. In the resurrection on the last day, at the sound of that final trumpet, the souls of heaven will rise as Jesus did: glorified, and forever alive! We cannot rise until those wounds have been faced!

Imagine the freedom! Imagine the freedom that would define our days if we were able to live without carrying the burden of our wounds around with us anymore! Another great AA phrase is “we are only as sick as our secrets.” That’s true for all of us.

This Easter Season we would all do well to take a good long look at our wounds. We would be wise to ask the Risen Jesus to help us lower the walls of our defensiveness so we can look ourselves square in the eye. We should ask Jesus for the grace to look at ourselves as he sees us, because he has the most honest perspective! Yes, he knows our every sin. He knows our every wrong. He knows our every hurt. He also knows our every talent, our gifts, our capacity for love, our acts of kindness and charity, and our desire to be the best we can be.

He loves you for you: not in spite of who you are, but because of who you are. If we can see ourselves as Jesus does, maybe we could learn to love ourselves too. Maybe we could let others love us. Maybe, just maybe, our wounds can begin to be glorified.