Certainly Uncertain

Is anything really certain in life?

I found myself meditating on the Gospel passage from this weekend today, at various points in my day. When I sat and ran the scene through my mind, engaging with the tried, tested, and true Ignatian Method, it didn’t take long at all for a resounding feeling to come across clear as day: uncertainty.

In my imagination, as the fisherman were called by Jesus, I was struck that they looked at one another with a palpable sense of uncertainty. This got me thinking…and praying.

I had just upheld the fishermen this weekend as examples of faith in comparison to Jonah in the First Reading, who tried to avoid God’s call initially. Does this notion of uncertainty negate that principle?

Not at all.

Uncertainty is not the same as doubt. Not at all. Uncertainty is a reality of the world in which we live. We do not have control over the outcome of our decisions, we can only make the best choice we can, and move forward. Uncertainty is a quality of our human experience that cannot be avoided. So did Jesus experience uncertainty? It would seem not, given that he is the creator, sustainer, and savior of all things.

Jesus also placed himself in a place of submission by his coming as man. He allowed himself to become one of us “in all things but sin.” We often point to his anxiety in the Garden of Gethsemane – isn’t this perhaps proof of his experience of uncertainty? Jesus does not experience uncertainty because he is limited – but rather because he allows himself to experience the complete spectrum of human life.

Without uncertainty: what would faith mean?

You see my friends, all too often mistakenly think that faith means trusting that God will do what we want. That’s not faith at all. Faith is trusting that God is with us despite the uncertainty of the world we live in! It means that when we make a decision, if we do so with Christ in discernment that he will work with whatever that decision is: because he works with whatever we bring him…even our sinfulness.

I find myself on the cusp of starting a new day job. Our Parish is beginning this process of our “We Build” Project. Every day in our nation is a surprise, more unprecedented then the day before. I make plans to pay bills in a certain way, but life all too often reminds me that “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”

Our entire lives unfold within a construct of uncertainty: but that uncertainty will only govern our lives if we let it!

As people of faith we are challenged to hand the reality of our uncertainty over to our God. When we bring him this reality, and place it in his hands confident in his care for us, we really have nothing to worry about. Things may not pan out our way: but that’s exactly what faith is- trusting that his way is better.

When Peter, James, and Andrew walked away from those nets they stepped off into a world of total uncertainty. Like us, they were accustomed to uncertainty. They went out fishing each day and were required to pay tax on the fish they caught before they even sold them. It was the understanding of the Roman Empire that all that lives below the skies belonged to Ceasar. Therefore, they had to pay a tax on that fish they had taken away from him. So if they had to pay 300 dollars (to use monetary units familiar to us) in taxes for their catch, there was no guarantee they would make that money back. When they set out in the morning to fish, there was no guarantee they would catch anything at all. Certainly stepping out and following Jesus likewise offered them no guarantees.

Yet somehow, they found in this Jesus, some kind of promise…some kind of hope…some kind of assurance that this was the way to go. That following him would not steer them wrong. They couldn’t explain it…they perhaps were offered no proof to win their confidence…but they did it anyway.

That’s faith…faith IS uncertain…and yet when we put all of our hope in it, it is the most certain thing we can ever experience in this world.