Great Expectations

Douglas Booth as Pip in "Great Expectations"

The novel Great Expectations, is a novel by Charles Dickens, set in the 1800s, that chronicles the life and times of the orphan Pip. While he spends his days trying to rise out of his impoverished social class to the status of “gentleman.” Through the journey of life he comes to realize that being a gentlemen is not accomplished by wealth, “genteel” speech, or any other delicate external, but rather by an internal disposition that brings out a goodness that he already has within him.

I think that the general plot- and certainly the title- of this classic novel can speak to us at a very personal level when we consider our own life of prayer.

How often in our lives have we labelled our prayer lives as things like “dry”, “quiet”, or at times maybe even “disappointing.” If we think about it though, aren’t we assigning such judgement because our experience didn’t meet our expectations?

We go to the pews of our church, to our knees, or simply into our hearts in prayer, and we do so with a particular set of expectations. Maybe we know that a sure sign of God’s consolation is a sense of his peace: so we seek that peace. However, Jesus tells us that he gives us peace “not as the world gives it.” Jesus’ peace is different than the world’s sense of peace. It’s not an absence of discord, but a presence of trust. It’s a reality of mutual abiding between us and Jesus. It’s communion.

Maybe we go to God seeking answers, and it seems he does not provide them. Maybe we go to God looking for direction, and we think he provides none. Maybe we go to God to take away a cross that we perceive as being too heavy to bear, and he asks us to take it upon our shoulders anyway.

What is certain is that like Pip we have to make the transition from externals to internals. Prayer too is not about propriety or “genteel” speech. It’s not a matter of proper formulas and gestures. It is an internal reality: a relationship that then impacts our other relationships in the world. It’s an answer to an invitation that comes from the very heart of God, calling us deeper into love: deeper into a mutual exchange of the gift of self.

How can any expectation be put on such an incredible reality?

Prayer is not about seeking to “feel” a certain way. In a way it’s the exact opposite. Part of the life of prayer includes taking note of how we feel, and discerning God’s movement in those feelings. Such discernment can’t be clouded by expectations!

In “the Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, we find a pertinent thought in the personal stories section at the back of the book: “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, or thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake (Acceptance is the Answer, p. 417)”

When we are "disturbed" in such a way, it is because someone has not met our expectations. So often that someone is actually God. The goal of holiness – like Pip’s goal of being a gentleman – is certainly a noble one. However if we lay out a plan marked by external actions and benchmarks, we will most certainly be disappointed. Instead, if we should move through life always striving to do the next right thing, taking notes of God’s movements in our hearts, and seeking to recognize his presence and action in our lives.

For us as Catholics we enjoy the incredible gift of the Eucharist: the true presence of Jesus in the world. In this great Sacrament we find an expectation we can be sure of: his boundless love, and his longing for an intimate relationship with each of us.